Why, oh why?

The other morning, I saw an interview on one of the morning shows with a young woman who was reporting on internet dating. Her report talked about how much luck she had in finding dates on several different sites - 11 dates in just a short time. Well, of course! She was this little, cute, young thing with long hair and a mini-skirt and a giggly, flirty, "oh-my-gawd" kind of personality. She was just exactly the type of woman that every guy thinks they can attract - whether they are GQ material or middle-aged, overweight and far-past-prime old men. So when you post her pic on the website, the guys are going to flock to her. Same as the guys in a bar. She also played into the "image" that many guys want to adorn their arm: little, cute, attractive, and not so smart she would make her man look bad. (rolling my eyes at that...)

So of course she could talk about how great internet dating sites are at finding a man for you. What I would have loved to ask her is how many creeps she had to weed out before even meeting them. How many guys came right out and told her that they were looking for someone who could "discreetly" be a "special friend?" How many guys did she meet who told her they were divorced (if she even allowed divorced guys through in her criteria) and then found out they were just separated, and to top it off "living in the same house as his wife for financial reasons?" How many started off their date telling her what meds they were on for depression or bipolar disorder or some other thing that was "pretty well controlled" by the medication?

I experienced ALL of those things and more when I tried internet dating. That's when I actually got some guys past my pic to show some interest. I certainly do not fit the desired image - not nearly little, not nearly a young thing, decades & way too many pounds past my mini-skirt wearing days, and way smarter than most of the guys I was meeting online. So the only guys I was hearing from were the ones who thought I'd be desperate enough to not care that they were actually married, or had more baggage than a cargo plane.

This report on internet dating offered me no solutions, only more questions. You would think after almost 3 decades of existing in the dating world I would have at least a few answers. But instead I just keep accumulating more and more questions.

Why, oh why do people think we must be in a relationship to be "complete" or to be happy? I am as complete as I'm going to be. And if I depend upon another person to "make me happy" I'm on pretty shaky ground in my life.

Why, oh why do so many women act less intelligent than they are because they think that's the only way to attract men? If I have to change who I am, or be less than I am, to attract a man or to keep him, then he is certainly not worth it. I am worth far more than that myself.

Why, oh why do so many guys who are just barely average in looks or in talents think they have the stuff to attract supermodels? Yes Lyle Lovette married Julia Roberts. Ric Ocasek married Paulina Porizkova. David Bowie married Iman. Donald Trump marries one model after another. All are way below average in looks. But if you're a musician or a mega-millionaire you are going to get the chick. If not, forget it. You're stuck with women like me, baby! Real women!

Yes, there are many more questions to be answered. But the thing is, I just don't care. I have finally gotten to the point where I can let go of all that stuff and just be happy with my life as it is. To be honest, I know an awful lot of people (men and women both) who would so much rather be in my shoes. I think I'll just stay there myself.