End of an Era

That's the headline on everything Brett Favre today - End of an Era. To watch the news broadcasts and interviews with fans, you would think that it was all one long eulogy at Brett's funeral. Hey folks, he's still alive and now gets to have fun in his life! Good for him!

What struck me as a sign though - Brett played 17 seasons and is retiring before his 18th. Moses was 17 years old, and would have been 18 some time in May or June (as a stray, all we could do was estimate.) Since Brett retired on the day that I had Moses put to sleep, that must mean I made the right decision, right?

Today was a very hard day for me though. I thought I was emotionally prepared to let go, but I pretty much cried the whole time Dr. Tom was here. In some ways I still wish Moses had died while I was gone at work or sometime in the night. No hard decision to make then. But the good thing about this was that I got to hold him the whole time. He hasn't been letting me hold him a whole lot for the last week or so, and I held him as close as I could and talked to him the whole time. It was a very peaceful thing for him, much more so than for me.

The hardest part of all was when Dr. Tom took him away. His body was still warm. He still felt alive to me as I held him. But his heart was done beating. He was gone. I felt some worry though as Dr. Tom wrapped him in a blanket to take Moses with him. What if he wakes up and is wrapped up? Max loves to be wrapped in a blanket, but Moses always hated being covered in any way. I know that the worry was senseless, but was still in my mind anyway. I just have to let that go though, like I let Moses go.

End of an era.... my first boy is gone. Thankfully Max is still a lovey-dovey boy because I'm going to need that for a while. Someday I'll get a new boy to take Moses' place, but not yet. Maybe I'll name him Brett. :)