Could be a rough year
Moses is one tough cat. He has stopped eating completely now, even turning up his nose at the yogurt that he ate so well yesterday. Today's canned food is still in the dish, with about half eaten by Max after Moses just licked at it briefly. I've hardly seen him drink anything either. And yet, he still has the energy to come downstairs every once in a while and wander around a bit. Occasionally he'll lie in his favorite basket, but then he goes back upstairs to the bathroom rug.
He barely wants to be held or petted any more, but tolerates it for a minute or two. A few times I could feel his heart beating hard and fast, and I just don't know how he can find the strength to go up and down the stairs at all - even as slowly as he goes. I suspect that the heart will give out soon with his wanderings and no food to give him strength. His fat reserves are long gone and there is nothing left to him. How he manages to keep moving around is amazing to me, and yet he somehow does. I think he just wants to be near me yet, even if he doesn't want me to hold him. But today I did call Dr. Tom and left a message that I will probably be calling him early next week to set up a time to put Moses to sleep, if he doesn't die on his own before that. It's time to let go because he's just getting weaker and more fragile by the day. I can't honestly say he's not suffering any more.
Poor Max just seems lost too. He's eating far less (although his fat reserves could get him through a month or two easy!) and when Moses comes down, Max tries to follow him around and just looks so sad that Moses ignores him. He keeps going to the basket looking for Mose, but usually finds it empty so he comes back to my lap. What a cheery house I have right now!
So this may be a very tough week. I also called Mom today to see how she's doing. I guess I've become too used to her being very upbeat and saying that she continues to feel good. This time I could tell by her voice that it wasn't the case. She's now having some pain, and in her words "feels played out" all the time. It appears our longer-than-expected grace period for her cancer may be over. So far the tylenol keeps the pain fairly well under control, but I think the next time the hospice nurse comes she may be giving mom some pain meds.
On top of it all, Mom told me Dad had an overnight stay in the hospital this week. Sunday night he couldn't swallow and when it continued on Monday, Kaye took him in to see the doc. He had a blockage between his esophagus and stomach and they were able to stretch the opening to clear it, but kept him overnight to keep an eye on him. Probably doesn't help that he has only 4 teeth and can't chew his food.
This getting old crap sucks! It appears the losses will begin soon, and not sure when the end may be in sight. Sorry that this has become the "bad news blog" but hopefully soon I can write about some joys instead. I think it will help that tomorrow Linda & Steve are taking me to the Billy Joel concert - my birthday gift from December. I could sure use the distraction right now.
He barely wants to be held or petted any more, but tolerates it for a minute or two. A few times I could feel his heart beating hard and fast, and I just don't know how he can find the strength to go up and down the stairs at all - even as slowly as he goes. I suspect that the heart will give out soon with his wanderings and no food to give him strength. His fat reserves are long gone and there is nothing left to him. How he manages to keep moving around is amazing to me, and yet he somehow does. I think he just wants to be near me yet, even if he doesn't want me to hold him. But today I did call Dr. Tom and left a message that I will probably be calling him early next week to set up a time to put Moses to sleep, if he doesn't die on his own before that. It's time to let go because he's just getting weaker and more fragile by the day. I can't honestly say he's not suffering any more.
Poor Max just seems lost too. He's eating far less (although his fat reserves could get him through a month or two easy!) and when Moses comes down, Max tries to follow him around and just looks so sad that Moses ignores him. He keeps going to the basket looking for Mose, but usually finds it empty so he comes back to my lap. What a cheery house I have right now!
So this may be a very tough week. I also called Mom today to see how she's doing. I guess I've become too used to her being very upbeat and saying that she continues to feel good. This time I could tell by her voice that it wasn't the case. She's now having some pain, and in her words "feels played out" all the time. It appears our longer-than-expected grace period for her cancer may be over. So far the tylenol keeps the pain fairly well under control, but I think the next time the hospice nurse comes she may be giving mom some pain meds.
On top of it all, Mom told me Dad had an overnight stay in the hospital this week. Sunday night he couldn't swallow and when it continued on Monday, Kaye took him in to see the doc. He had a blockage between his esophagus and stomach and they were able to stretch the opening to clear it, but kept him overnight to keep an eye on him. Probably doesn't help that he has only 4 teeth and can't chew his food.
This getting old crap sucks! It appears the losses will begin soon, and not sure when the end may be in sight. Sorry that this has become the "bad news blog" but hopefully soon I can write about some joys instead. I think it will help that tomorrow Linda & Steve are taking me to the Billy Joel concert - my birthday gift from December. I could sure use the distraction right now.
posted by Kris at 3/01/2008 07:50:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home