Old farts

It is with great sadness that I come to a new realization... I am on the verge of crossing over into "old fart" status. How did I come to this awareness? Well, for one thing, I honestly cannot remember the last time I went out on a Friday night. With the exception of vacation times, I am sure it has to be at least a year since my last Friday night out. I would so much rather spend my Friday watching NCAA tourney games from the comfort of my recliner, or watching "Vegas" on tv.

It has gotten so bad, this last Saturday, I passed up an opportunity to go out with friends too. I was supposed to meet some people out for a beer or two, but after going out for a 2 margarita lunch with another friend, then a birthday party in the early evening, the thought of going across town to go sit in a noisy bar where I can't hear most of the conversations around me just was not appealing. (See??? I sound dangerously like an old fart!!!!)

What else indicates old fart status? Well, for one, I really look forward to watching "Deal or No Deal." I blame my mother for this. She did, after all, pass on her genes to me. The "Price is Right" gene came from my Dad. Either way, I'm doomed.

I also find myself walking like an old fart when I wake up in the morning. This is a seriously bad sign. My stiff knees keep me from bounding out of the bed. I move incredibly slow. I hear cracks and pops that I never heard before. Old fart noises.....

Even my choice of clothes is worrisome. Comfort has become a far bigger priority than hotness. Comfortable shoes. Comfortable waistlines. Comfortable hemlines. I haven't shaved my legs since my birthday in December. Heck, who sees my legs anyway? And certainly no one feels them but me... and Max when he sleeps on my lap in above-mentioned recliner while I'm still in my pj's. Old fart position.....

What I really need to know though is, once you cross the line into Old Fart-dom, is it a point of no return? Or can I sometimes still visit my youth?